


Water Fields

by Gasian_Gaond



Category: BABYMETAL
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, RPF, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 02:46:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16232627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gasian_Gaond/pseuds/Gasian_Gaond
Summary: As Yui is slowly recovering, Moa tries her best to be a supportive girlfriend, giving Yui the care and patience she requires while at the same time struggling with her own needs and worries.





	Water Fields

 

" _Moa, why can't Japanese women keep their maiden names...?"_

_"...I don't know. Because the law says so? And we have to obey the law."_

_"Oh..."_

_"Why do you ask that, Yui? Do you want to keep your surname when you get married?"_

_"Eh? Me? No, no, not at all."_

_"Ah, I see. Your surname is beautiful though."_

_"It is...?"_

_"Yeah. I like my surname...but, if I were your husband...I'd love to have your name."_

_"Wha...what are you talking about?"_

_"Mizuno. It just sounds soothing. Like a peaceful lake. Like a calm, large body of water. I don't know...I just like it, I guess."_

_"...we'll...we'll never get married so stop saying weird things."_

_"What is it...?"_

_"...it's nothing. I'm sorry."_

 

* * *

 

I still remember how it felt inside my mother's womb.

It is quite rare for someone to remember that.

It was like floating in a strange watery darkness...like being engulfed by warm, welcoming waves...

But honestly, it is nothing more than a vague memory.

I have a lot of memories like that. Sometimes I am reminded of them through dreams. They are mostly fleeting glimpses under my consciousness, but sometimes bits of it remain.

I have forgotten how Yui and I met, but the earliest memory I have of her is in one of the Amuse Kids classes.

It was winter, and I was just standing there in my hoodie, pants, and long johns...when I noticed a little girl clinging to my right arm.

My gaze fell on our linked arms before meeting her curious eyes. She looks so angelic and innocent, like a small puppy, and she stayed attached to my arm like that for the rest of the class.

As if she belongs there.

As if that glance she gave was meant to tell me that, this is her spot now.

And stay there she did...for the next ten years.

Even in the low-resolution photos of our early friendship, I realized she was always clinging to me.

It's come to the point that it becomes comfortable.

When we walk together, I would long for her to link her arms or fingers with mine. It feels warm and therapeutic, when I know that she would cling to me once she is there by my side.

That warmth is gone.

Those little footsteps, that touch on my arm, that softness of those fingers are all gone...

" _We are always together even during tours..."_

_"We are always together, really..."_

I thought I would be able to handle it easily...

But it still feels a little bit like torture.

Su, who usually looks on happily when we are attached to each other, even says to me, "It's fine. I bet she would be clinging to you as soon as you took one step out of the airport."

"I know..."

"You're acting like someone in a loveless relationship."

"What! ? Yui loves me!"

Su just smirks and leaves.

I would totally get back on that girl one day...

But she is right.

It's not like I cannot speak to Yui.

And I wonder if that kind of future will happen someday.

Everyone expects a lot of whoever we choose as our future spouses.

My family often say they would never approve if I have a low-rent boyfriend.

Well...she can still afford some luxurious things...but she's not a boy, either.

Our future simply won't be easy for us...because the majority would probably never understand, even when we have made something of our lives.

However...I'm somehow looking forward to it.

I want to live with Yui.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Yui.

I want to wake up next to her every morning, and I want to see her beautiful face greet me before my day begins.

After our first night together as a couple, I know I need to experience it again and again.

I want to look out for her, I want our relationship to last forever.

But that means getting over hurdles that I never thought I would have to face...

"...well, I personally can't imagine myself going through that, but if you really believe she is the one, then good luck to you..." Su says to me.

"I've thought about it a lot of times...and I can't see it in any other way..." I tell her, "Su-chan...I love her."

"I believe you, although I've heard that before..."

"What?"

"You've said that to a lot of girls before..." she says, "But if you are sure about it, then I'm happy for you."

Our conversation ends as she picks up her book and continues reading her novel on the lumpy mattress.

I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering about what Su just said.

Am I really sure about it...?

Yui has been my best friend since we were children.

Are my feelings for her really love?

Or are they just friendly affection that I mistake for love?

Have I ever fallen in love with anyone...?

There are girls that stole my heart before, both through their looks and personality.

How can I tell that this is not just one of those passing crushes...?

It takes me awhile to realize that Su is still staring at me from the corner of her eye. She closes her book and says, "You probably need to let off some steam, want to walk around town during lunch tomorrow?"

I nod in agreement.

"You can go mad with spending, I don't care about that like Yui."

I give her a laugh, and the thoughts soon disappear from my mind.

I'm just looking forward to my next date with Yui.

I want to touch her and kiss her, hold her hand as we walk, go out on karaoke dates with her and listen to her favorite songs ...while I make her laugh with my lusty singing.

" _Moa always makes me laugh..."_

I don't know what she really sees in me. But I want to always be the reason that she smiles, more than anyone else in this world.

A smile that I always see since childhood.

A smile that I see less and less as her condition worsens.

A smile that she sometimes forces out for me, for Su, for the audience...

Legend S was the moment her body finally gave in under pressure.

I kept holding her hand and she gripped on it so strongly it left marks, as she curled and writhed on the bed in agony.

"... _We should be grateful..."_

_"...that it is not something that maimed her or completely disabled her...but..."_

I couldn't do anything.

I could only watch them inject her with painkillers as I clutched on her hand like mad and my heart broke to pieces.

"Moa," Nora would call to me, "Moa, let go of her."

"No."

"You have to prepare for the show."

"I said  _no_...!"

Yui's sweaty finger twitched in-between mine.

I knew I had to go on with the show, but I couldn't just leave Yui.

No...Not like this.

"Yui...? Yui, I'm here..." I gave her cheek a light rub, which was wet from a mixture of tears and sweat.

She opened her eyes... and for once her expression wasn't that of someone in excruciating pain. She raised her head a little, and looked at everyone but me.

Slowly, weakly, she pushed my hand away from her and whispered, "I want my ma..."

My heart fell to my stomach.

"Yui...?"

She avoided my eyes.

"Moa, we're running out of time!" Nora shouted.

"But..."

"Moa..." Yui said with a hoarse voice, "Do you think I am a weakling...?"

Those words sent shivers down my spine, and she then shot me a glare so malevolent, I could feel her absolute rage in it.

"Just my luck that you can perform and I can't..." she whispered, "...I don't want to see your face until the concert is over."

That hurt.

However, there was nothing I could do but to go out and perform.

She seemed to see how dejected I looked when I stood up from my chair because she added, "...I will watch the broadcast."

"You will...?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes. The macabre ritual and everything."

That put a small smile on my face. Yui had always hated the dark and scary stuff.

"...go out there and blow their minds, Moa."

"I will," I said, softly sneaking a kiss on her forehead, "Thank you."

"I won't forgive you if you don't."

I laughed at her cute pout.

"I won't disappoint you, Yui. I promise."

 

* * *

 

Yui's condition improves, but never by much.

It isn't easy for everyone involved, but most of all, the burden is weighing the most on Yui herself.

I can see her frustration piling up, her worry and impatience showing through her words, although she always holds back from spilling it all to me.

I often visit her during her recovery, and it pains me to see her having to go through all this.

But I will never leave her.

I won't let her bear it all alone.

Ever.

"You're getting there," I remark, sitting next to her on her bed, "You will be back on the stage in no time."

"...how can you be so sure of that?"

"I believe in you, Yui. You will go back out there, looking magnificent in those new costumes, and blow their expectations out of the water. It's time for us to make a new start. Black Babymetal will be back and stronger than ever!"

Despite her obvious pessimism, she still smiles at my enthusiasm.

And it is such a breathtaking smile.

I want to drown in that calming lake in her eyes.

More than anything.

I can't bear to see her in pain.

And I want to continue to be positive and do my best to perform.

Not that there is anything else I can do.

The agency continues to be mail-bombed on a constant basis, and they are unsure of showing everything to us.

I don't really mind...what is the most important for me right now is Yui's health and happiness.

We can't go out as often, or be together as often, but that is okay...

That is okay because I love her.

This is more than enough.

However, in the back of my mind, I miss everything that I used to do with her.

And that smile doesn't help.

She is still as gorgeous as ever, and I find myself licking my lips when she comes close and gives me one of her dashing smiles.

We still kiss...but I miss doing it with such fervor that she becomes a writhing mess underneath me...

We know we can't have sex because her body is still recovering.

And I'm fine with that...or at least trying to be.

Once in a while my eyes fall on her bottom or her breasts and my brain would immediately go into overdrive.

And she just looks more and more beautiful.

It is like having the main course right on front of you but you cannot touch it.

My mind slowly goes from acceptance into suppressed frustration, which is threatening to break free from its cage.

This is hard.

I hate how hormonal teenagers can be.

Even when we are alone, I tend to keep my hands to myself. I don't want her to think I am desperate to touch her.

However, every time we kiss while being fully aware that we cannot take it any further, it always leaves long-lasting effects in my mind.

And they continue to haunt my fantasies, leading into restless nights where my hands would slip into places they shouldn't, trying to relieve myself from the sweet agony that my thoughts conjure, as I let them go wild about Yui...

My body keeps craving for her, and I can't stop imagining her moans...her pearly white skin...her beautiful pair of lips...

I don't want to tell Yui about it, I don't want to make her feel guilty about something she has no control of.

So I keep it a secret from her...while I spend night after night deep in the cold waves of lust, far from the warmth of that field of water...

I keep those true desires locked up inside my mind.

I have to stay by her side as the positive, fun-loving Moa Kikuchi in these difficult times.

But the burden on my shoulders...it is always there.

Every once in a while when we sit together in her room, it is extremely hard to hold those feelings back.

Like at this very moment.

She scoots a little closer to me, nervously puts a strand of loose curly hair behind her ear, and leans her head against my shoulder. Slowly, she links her arm with mine and lets out a satisfied sigh.

She smells like fresh strawberries, and the feeling of warmth from her body is intoxicating.

I miss this warmth.

I miss her clinging to me.

I miss everything about her.

My mind is about to burst.

Her smooth rotund cheeks, adorable catlike lips, and absolutely breathtaking beauty make me unable to look away.

What does she even see in me...?

She can have anybody in this world, why even choose me...?

She looks up to me and our eyes meet. I see it again in her, the unfathomable depths inside that pair of eyes, like a mysterious lake waiting to be explored.

I know what she wants. As she closes her eyes, I lean in and plant a kiss on her already waiting lips.

The sweet taste melts into our mouths as they fit together like two puzzle pieces. I nudge my tongue at her bottom lip and she shivers against me. I can feel her hand shakily clutching on my shirt.

I don't dare to make it too passionate, or else I won't be able to hold back anymore.

I keep my hands firmly around her waist, not letting them roam freely in spite of my desperation.

It's even harder because her other hand is now tangled in my hair, gently rubbing my neck as she leans forward and deepens our kiss.

I can only sit there, frozen, feeling all of those sensations going straight to my groin, while my frustrated mind is fighting to break free, to touch her naked body, to make her moan and beg, to slip my fingers deep inside her...

But I can't. She is not in the condition that allows me to do it.

When my tongue touches hers and a gasp escapes her mouth, I think I nearly lose all my inhibitions.

I panic and try to force myself to think of something else less stimulating, like lunchtime, or college, or...

But just when I am about to try that, she withdraws from me.

I try to breathe normally, stopping myself from shaking, as she looks away from me and mumbles, "Sorry...I know...we can't."

Her neck, obscured by the pretty tresses of her long permed hair, is right there in front of me. I can see her white skin peeking through, and my eyes widen at this sudden inviting sight.

I bite my lip, my mind racing faster than it has ever been, while my heart is pounding loudly against my ribcage.

_A little..._

_Just a little... taste..._

I can't stop myself, I bring myself closer to her and presses my lips on that small patch of milky white skin. She winces at the contact, but doesn't move away, and I press my tongue against her, enjoying her delicious taste as I gently nibble on her skin.

She lets out a small, strangled moan, her breathing turning heavy and ragged...

She put her arms around me and I feel like being submerged into a deep lake.

I don't know if I can stay like this any longer without it turning into something more.

But I can't stop...I need Yui...I need her to want me...I need her give in to her desires...

"Mo...a...Moa..." she whimpers as I explore her neck with my tongue, "No...we can't..."

With my whole willpower I slightly pull back from her.

What am I doing...?

She must be majorly disappointed in me.

I must not force my wishes on her.

I must protect her.

I kiss her quickly on the cheek and whisper, "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that..."

She doesn't respond.

Instead, she gives me that stare again, a mysterious force that sucks my soul inside them, like a pair of whirlpools in the middle of a dark lake.

They trap me in, and I cannot look away from them as I vaguely feel Yui's hand covering mine.

"Moa..." she says, and I realize she is still breathing heavily.

I can barely get a word out of my throat. "Yes...?"

"I...I think I want it..."

She clutches my hand. "...I want it...I really want it..."

"But..." I say, swallowing my saliva, "But...we can't...It will put a strain on your..."

"Please..." she whispers, "...I can't take it anymore. I've been holding it back for so long..."

As my mind is still struggling to reach a reasonable decision, Yui shatters it all instantly by pressing her lips onto mine.

I nearly jolt in surprise, but that is nothing compared to Yui's hand leading mine to her chest...

"Yu--!" I let out a small cry but she silences me with her mouth. "Mmh...!"

"Please..." she begs, "Just a little..."

"We can't...I..."

She grips on my arm desperately. "Please...just... do it gently..."

The pressure from her impatient, hot breathing and half lidded eyes finally breaks my resolve into pieces.

This wouldn't be good for her... but I don't want to make her wait any longer.

At least this is...something that I can do.

I just need to be mindful.

My hands reach up to capture her jaw and my nose bumps into hers when our lips brush against each other. As we both melt into the kiss, it seems to light up a fire inside Yui. She shifts on the bed, desire unspooling under her touch, her fingers gentling through my hair until she grabs a handful and tugs.

I let out a soft moan, enjoying her eagerness as she sighs into the kiss.

Her arms shake slightly, and I am aware of what she wants. My hand wanders from her waist up to her stomach before slipping under her top, brushing against her belly button. I continue upwards until I reach her chest and circle to her back, slowly unclipping her bra as I keep her occupied with my lips. I let her feel comfortable with the soft weight of my hand on her breast, before rolling my thumb over a nipple and her breath hitches. I do it again, and she makes a nasally noise of pleasure that goes straight to my core.

I know she is struggling to sit still.

But her hands are clutching the bedsheets and I can tell she has craved this for awhile.

I don't know how she can manage without relieving her desires. I would've gone crazy. I already am now.

It's been so long...I want to go rough on her...but I can't.

I love her more than anything.

I don't want to hurt her.

"Mo...Moa..." she whines, trying to roll her hips forward. I put my hand on her thigh, a silent reminder to let me take over. She swallows hard and watches, rapt, as I spread her legs wider and slide my hand down her stomach into her underwear...

"Mmh...!"

Gently, I drag my fingers through the wetness down there, dipping the tips in the forbidden pool of pleasure. I can  _feel_  how wet she is, and the knowledge of that makes my stomach rise up and do a flip. I look up in time for her eyes to flash open, head thrown back with a look of pure need on her face.

She is warm...so warm...and I feel like drowning again.

It is like finding a long-lost heaven deep underwater.

Her gasps and moans become the air that I breathe, her arousal is a fountain that keeps on giving, and her desperation to clutch on anything she can reach makes every part of my body flush with heat.

_I love you..._

_I love you, Yui..._

It gets harder to keep her to sit still.

I remember how she thrashes around when I make love to her.

It must be difficult for her to stay still in the midst of so much pleasure. I am also getting wet myself...

"Mo...a! Moa....!"

"Ssh...it's fine," I give her a calming whisper.

Immersing myself in her warmth, I move from gentle strokes to faster ones, alternating them with small thrusts and curling of my fingers. Her thighs tighten against my sides and I can barely hear the noises she makes; the whimpers, the gasps, the quiet moans when I hit a spot just right. I can tell she is close, everything is shuddering and fluttering with each thrust, and she gets louder with every stroke. Then I feel a slight pain on the side of my neck, and realizes that it has overwhelmed her to the point that she is biting me, right at my pulse point, attempting to contain herself.

"Yu..."

"Mo-Moa...I'm...!"

I try my best to hold her as her muscles convulse around my fingers, her thighs going tense and trembling. I kiss her deeply and rub her back with my free hand, easing her through the huge tidal wave that soon washes over her. She clings to me for dear life, her whole body twitching and shaking vigorously.

She whimpers after the wave is over, and weakly kisses the marks that she left on my neck. I put my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She lets out a deep sigh and buries her head in my shoulder. We stay in that position for a long time.

"Moa...?"

"Hm...?"

"I guess..." she says, "I guess I really lucked out when I met you..."

I gape at her.

That's not true....

I am the lucky one.

I am awash by her deep passionate love, that I probably can never deserve.

I want to protect her.

I want to do my absolute best for her.

And that I can only prove with my resolve.

To be someone worthy enough for her love...

To be immersed in that warm lake in her eyes forever...

"Yui...?" I quietly say.

"Yes, Moa...?"

"When we get married...can I have your surname?"

"Eh?" she exclaims, her face turning bright red, "It's not possible. We...we..."

"We can do it," I assure her, "Someday we can."

She stares at me with glassy eyes. Then says something to me in a small voice.

I can't really hear her that well.

But I have a good feeling, that it's a "yes".

 

**Author's Note:**

> A little trivia: Yui's surname "Mizuno" literally translates into "water fields".
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
